Day in and Day out I move to the beat of an internal alarm clock. You see in my life nothing can have a minimized importance as everything is operates like a machine, and if one part isn’t functioning the entire machine will cease to work. From getting up at 6:45am to make sure Christian is ready when the school bus arrives, so that I can in turn start working, so that I can afford to pay bills, pay for cool preteen haircuts and clothing and do all the of the things necessary to run a household. And though this juggling act can be redundant, it can also be full of surprises.
I hate to sound whiny, but almost always the surprises are unpleasant. Surprises like my check engine light coming on when I start my car, or waking up with a body ache(which makes me move slower). However, like always super mom powers through and things work out. There’s just one thing(sigh)… I get tired sometimes. There’s so many have to do’s in life and very few want to do’s. For example, I WANT to go get a pedicure and not feel guilty about the 2 hours I spend doing it. I also WANT to go get a cup of coffee and not feel guilty about spending $5 on it.
Overall, most of my gripes can be lumped into the category of single parent ranting. With that being said I’ll close by saying that being a parent is the best and most meaningful gift I’ve ever received and that all of my griping will one day be cool stories to share with my grandchildren.
Life can seem like a rollercoaster; you sometimes find yourself feeling like you’re about to crash but just before you hit the ground, you’re thrust to new heights you haven’t reached before. I used to wonder if I was the only person going through ups and downs… that is, until I started hanging out with other ambitious people. Regardless of what walk of life you come from, the more ambitious you are, the more uncomfortable you become with mediocrity.
I’ve recently learned to become my own cheerleader. I’m always on the sidelines cheering for other to have success in whatever they’re working toward. Well now I take the time to cheer for me. I’ve heard that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” well so is success and I’m going to keep running until my race is won!
In recent news Rapper and Actor Kid Cudi posted a note on his Facebook page announcing that he had checked himself into rehab for “depression and suicidal urges.” Cudi, age 32 years-old whose real name is Scott Mescudi, noted that he felt “so ashamed” and apologized numerous times throughout his post. He went on to say “I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I would’ve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life.”
There was such a flood of emotions poured out onto his Facebook page and an even bigger flood of supports from his fans and music industry colleagues. Cudi acknowledging that he has some issues and reaching out to get the help that he needs is completely commendable and a great example of what true bravery is.
How often do we as adults, parents and caretakers acknowledge our emotions and what we are feeling. For many the answer is not often if ever. We wear so many hats and are pulled in so many directions we hardly have the time to deal with self. I want to encourage everyone to not get swept away in the rocky sea of life and to feel what you’re going to feel, and if what you’re feeling isn’t right get some help. Cudi acknowledged how “ashamed” he felt for feeling the way that he did, but we can not be ashamed of who we are or who we’ve become. If we don’t like the way we feel or the things that are going on in life lets push the pause button to make the changes we want and live a life full of peace and joy.
As I sit here scrolling through my thoughts like one scrolls through news feeds, I’ve come to conclude the following. Life is a journey that will indefinitely take you through unpleasant neighborhoods, but if you keep your destination in mind it’s well worth the trip.
I’ve been away from the site for awhile preparing things so that A.B.L.G.O can be better than ever. I have lots of new experiences to share and resources to add to the Resource page. I’ll start to unfold things on Sunday, March 15th. The countdown is on!
I’ve been spending some time with my brother in his hospice the past couple of days. Watching him in this phase of his life has made me painfully aware of just how serious the way we spend our time in this life is. All of the “I’ll do it laters and the “there’s always tomorrows” flow out of our mouths so easily because we’ve been ignoring the fact that our time here will run out one day. My brother has lived a very happy and fulfilled life and appears to have no regrets at this point. He has never ran from hard work, been an amazing father to his daughter, been an awesome brother to his siblings and a wonder son to his parents. Thinking over the way he has lived his life makes me wonder if I’m doing enough with my own.
I have been reminded that living a great and fulfilled life does not happen by accident. We must boldly chase our dreams, Fall in Love to stay there forever, treat people the way we want to be treated and love our children relentlessly, as the way that we care for them now will echo for decades after we’re gone.
We’re in the process of giving our children a wonderful childhood; lets mix in a wonderful adulthood for ourselves. Lets stop putting off things that matter to us until tomorrow. One day our children will look at us and wonder if we’ve live a fulfilled life; what will be the answer that they come up with?